Hey guys, sorry I’m a bit late this week. Things came up and they were beyond my control. Anyway, without further adieu… Welcome to Positive Impact: Your Weekly TNA review!
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Positive Impact: Your Weekly TNA Review (1/24/13)
Impact opens up with a recap of the end of last weeks episode (minus the wardrobe malfunction) Recapping Taz’ involvement in Aces & Eights and the actions that followed the reveal.
Interesting to note: You can see Anderson beating down on Dreamer in the background. They also kept the audio from the Brooke parts but got rid of the video (for obvious reasons) so it sounds funny and piped in. Probably not their intention but understandable due to circumstance.
NOW we get some new footage of what happened after Impact closed out with Bully Ray crawling injured to hold Hogan’s hand as Dreamer, Brooke and Sting hover over. Concern in the face of Bully and Brooke. Random Christian York appearance.
Interesting to note: Dreamer was asking Sting to help Hogan walk and he wouldn’t. Don’t really know if that means anything. Park and Dreamer helped out Bully. The Impact Zone shows how much they care about this angle with random cowboy chants during the promo followed by we want Sting.
Hilarious.
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The announcers set up the show
Todd Keneley and Mike Tenay open up the show. Taz is not with them. They mention Taz’ absence and are making it come across as a huge surprise; they really didn’t see it coming. That makes sense because I didn’t see it coming either. Who would expect that the announcer who retired from wrestling 10 years ago was a member!
Color me shocked.
Keneley and Tenay say that Taz will be here later and they can’t wait to hear what he has to say. Me either, they’ll need a good explanation if I’m supposed to care that Taz is in this group.
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Aces and Eights promo video
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Lots of revving, clapping and stuff. I don’t actually understand what’s going on. I doubt a biker gang actually does this shit. They’re just hanging around in a parking lot, apparently yelling at motorcycles to see what’s louder. I imagine this is how underworld organizations operate through the eyes of a 15 year old.
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Aces and Eights addresses the crowd
*Impact opening graphic*
The announcers set up the situation that we finally get to find out why Taz stabbed Impact in the back last week. I’m sure everybody is waiting on the edge of their seats in anticipation…
After the show intro, Aces & Eights head to the ring. They’re lead by Taz and have Anderson in tow. I know I’m a bit late to the party but I still don’t understand why they never just lock the door. Who in their right mind just lets their enemy right into the building? Also, how the heck did they even get here in the first place? I doubt Universal would let a gang of miscreants assault their employees on their property and endanger the fans.
They get music too? I HATE YOU SO MUCH I COULD GIVE YOU A JAMES STORM REJECT THEME!!! Harsh TNA, harsh… But anyway, I digress….
We start off with Taz and his explanation for his actions last week. According to Taz, life is about opportunity so HOW could he pass off joining Aces and Eights? How can he not be part of a group of men that have an individual agenda to get revenge and redemption? MOST IMPORTANTLY!! How can he not pass out the opportunity to take direction and to live by the vision of a higher power?
If you understand what he means, you get a cookie and I’m really dumb.
After his “explanation” of the situation. Taz starts talking about the Bully Ray/Brooke Hogan wedding. He goes on a bit of a tirade on Brooke and then tells her to shut up (she isn’t here Taz, no need for that…). He mentions Bully Ray being smitten by Brooke but doesn’t really point out if there’s a problem, or what the problem is with Bully being infatuated with Brooke. Now he’s saying they did that because it was an opportunity to get noticed on a higher level.
Good idea guys, attack them and try to get visibility during one of the lowest rated segments in years. That’ll teach them not to mess with you!
Taz pulls out the “just another victim” line and calls out TNA’s owner Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan. Taz implies that Dixie should’ve read the language in the contract properly because he’s “bulletproof” Teflon Taz now. If he gets touched, he gets to own the place according to the contract that he had written up.
Dixie… You run a company and you or your lawyers don’t bother reading your contracts or MAKING SURE THAT AN ANNOUNCER CAN’T OWN YOUR COMPANY IF YOU SO MUCH AS SNEEZE ON THEM!?
This makes perfect sense to somebody I’m sure…
Taz then cuts a promo for Aces and Eights (We’ll just refer to them as A&E from now on). A&E is driven to ride over you, and we will. Clever, I guess but still super lame. Taz says TNA has to deal with the path of rage behind him, the carnage A&E puts out. Bully and Brooke were just collateral damage to them and good luck dealing with A&E and the “higher power”.
Mike says that we got some answers but not all of them. Really Mike? We got no answers or even a decent motive. All we know is there’s a higher power (riveting writing from TNA creative by the way) and he’s the one we should really be worried about for some reason.
Taz will join the broadcast table later. Todd says the A&E haven’t been more destructive compared to now. Tenay wonder’s out loud about the higher power. I wonder if I can keep watching the rest of this show…
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: I really didn’t buy into that promo by Taz one bit. I feel like I learned nothing about why Taz did what he did and I’m still trying to figure out why A&E are even here in the first place. It’s obvious that TNA wants these guys to be somewhat credible but they never win clean. Why should I be worried about this group? They aren’t really stopping me from enjoying the programming, nor do I think they can beat anybody in the TNA roster. I also didn’t really understand where Taz was going with his promo. Just confusing and lame all around.
FINAL MARK (BUY IT/NO SELL): NO SELL. Horrible promo work by Taz. It made no sense…
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Jesse and Tara promo
We’re shown the backstage area as Jesse tries to motivate Tara for her Knockouts title defense against Velvet Sky. He whips out the Velvet Sky action figure (obvious product placement is obvious) and starts comparing Tara favorably to Velvet (Dead pigeons! Somebody hide Taz!!). Jesse gets Tara the motivation she needs and they’re off to go Eskimo kiss or something.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: You know, I actually don’t mind this Jesse guy too much. He was annoying at first, but he seems to be trying at least and I’ve for sure heard worse promo guys in the Impact Zone. I thiiiiiiiiink he may even have a shred of conviction in his voice sometimes!
Velvet Sky challenges Tara for the TNA Knockouts title and that’s coming up next.
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The TNA Valentines Day commercial starts playing. It’s pretty awesome. They got the right knockouts for the shoot, that’s for sure. No Joey Ryan sighting though. I was pretty sad about that…
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Christopher Daniels promo
A promo for Daniels starts up. They mention Daniels is a multiple time champion and he’ll do anything to win. He’s left his mark on TNA since the beginning and competed in some of the greatest matches in TNA history. He’s proved that he is one of the most death defying characters to ever wrestle the squared circle. Although Daniels is good, he’s forced to prove himself constantly. Now for the first time, Daniels wants World Heavyweight gold. They’re really trying to convey that Daniels is a credible threat to the champ.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Hopefully the crowd buys into it. I could like this feud if it goes any farther.
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Daniels and Kaz backstage
Backstage again as the camera guys ask Kaz what his role will be tonight. He shows his licensed manager card as he hands Daniels an Appletini from a gym bag (stay classy!!). The camera man asks what Daniels does to prepare. Daniels says that this isn’t a big match and makes a bunch of sports allusions to convey that fact. He goes on to say that he’s a feature not a creature, he makes the girls day every time his hips sway and he’s mere moments away from taking his place at the head of the table.
Daniels asks how does “Chris Daniels: World Heavyweight Champion of the World” sound?
Kaz said it’s sexy, I’d have to agree.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Nothing really of substance in this promo. It was funny, but not what I was expecting for a World Heavyweight Title feud. You could skip this segment unless you’re into Kaz and Daniels.
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Taz returns to the booth
Taz decides to make his return to the booth for this match. He goes off a bit on Todd but gives Tenay a nice, “Hello Mike!” It was kind of funny. Mike points out they have questions for Taz. Taz says no problem and he isn’t going anywhere.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Why am I not surprised that Taz is back for a Velvet Sky match?
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Tara (c) vs Velvet Sky for the TNA Knockouts Championship
Velvet makes her entrance. She’s wearing her old gear again. I’m guessing people were complaining that she was hiding her pigeons. I don’t mind because DAT ASS looks extra fine today. What I would give to be that second rope…
Jesus….
Tara out next, accompanied by Mr. Pectacular.
Before the match, the announcers start grilling Taz about the higher power but Taz isn’t biting at first. Tenay tries to get some answers and asks if it’s a single person or a collective etc… Taz won’t budge. He tells them to just call the match. Tenay says he hopes he’s just announcing and not spreading aces propaganda. Taz assured us that we’ll be hearing some crap about A&E.
As the bell rings, Tara is too busy taunting the crowd to notice Velvet rolling her up from behind. Quick kick-out by Tara as Velvet goes for an arm-wrench. She transitions the arm-wrench awkwardly into a hammer lock and then again into a head-lock. Then she spins out of the headlock awkwardly into a hammerlock position and goes for a roll-up.
Did I say this was awkward yet?
Velvet goes for a side headlock but Tara pushes her into the ropes and gets her with a shoulder block. Bit of show boating by Tara before she runs the ropes. Velvet gets under Tara, pops up to her feet and nails Tara with a Japanese arm drag followed by a couple of clotheslines.
At least, I think they were clotheslines…
Tara goes for a punch but Velvet reverses it with a Russian leg sweep. Tara tries to buy some time by rolling out of the ring. Jesse and Tara get a little hugging action in which leaves Tara wide open for Velvet to hair toss her into the ring. Velvet follows it up with a grounded dropkick and sends her to the outside again as we go to commercial.
*commercial break*
We come back from commercial and Velvet is still controlling the match. Tara reverses an Irish whip into the corner and charges towards Velvet. Velvet catches her with her leg and does a hilarious little heel kick and pushes her off. Velvet goes up top and lands a cross-body for 2. Back in the corner and Velvet starts chopping, shoulder thrusting and gut kicking Tara. Velvet whips Tara into the opposite corner and starts charging…
Velvet goes for a monkey flip which looked botched as hell. I’m guessing Tara was supposed to hold onto the ropes so it looks like Velvet got denied and tricked into slamming herself into the mat. What it ended up looking like was Velvet making herself fall over for no reason. Tara takes advantage anyway and gets a 2 count for her trouble.
Tenay asks Taz if A&8 was a financial thing (LOL what?). Taz still wont budge and won’t talk about anything.
Snap suplex and a float-over by Tara. Good for 2. Tara, with a MILFtacular booty jiggle standing moonsault and a pin but Velvet kicks out at 2 again. Tara goes for the chin lock as Velvet tries to rally the crowd. Velvet gets to her feet but is slammed down again by Tara. Big hair pull toss by Tara followed by some taunting. Tara goes up top but Velvet gets up from the ground and tosses her down hard.
Velvet starts her comeback! Clotheslines and a head-scissors takedown. Velvet with her Ripcord face-buster thing but Jesse is distracting the ref. Velvet goes to Jesse and Tara hits Jesse by mistake. Velvet goes for the suplex but Tara sandbags her and Jesse holds Tara on top for the pin and the win.
WINNER: TARA (C) via LATERAL PRESS
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Honestly, it was a pretty bad match. The WWE shouldn’t be getting in as much shit for how they treat the Diva’s division considering TNA seems to be using the same formula nowadays. The Knockouts used to be pretty decent. This match up was not.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): Botched it for me. Velvet Sky needs to get better in the ring because that was barely serviceable. Horrible match with awkward timing at some points. I wouldn’t watch it personally, even if I was a fan of both of them.
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Camera men catch up with Sting:
We’re backstage again and the camera men catch up with Sting, who just arrived. They ask about the Bully/Brooke wedding last week and if he’s talked to Hulkster, Bully or Brooke.
Sting says he answers things in the ring.
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Kenny King and Zema Ion backstage
Kenny king is looking in the mirror while talking to himself and Zema Ion pops into the scene. The two banter it up for a little bit. They basically go on about how tonight is about looking good and which one of them will look the best. King, acting a bit overconfident says he’ll do all the heavy lifting. Zema ends the segment with something along the lines of “We’ll see about that”.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: TNA is planting more seeds for a rivalry between these two I think. It would be interesting, that’s for sure. Personally, I’d rather watch these two compared to Christian York.
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Joseph Park addresses the Impact Zone
Joseph Parks makes his way to the ring with music and an entrance video now. The announcers are really trying to get across that Joseph has some experience now as a wrestler after finishing off in OVW.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: I like how Joseph is already ready for TNA TV and the rest of the OVW guys (who have been there for longer) are still chugging along in developmental. Taz actually makes some good points about Joseph not having near enough experience to be doing this. Taz needs to decide if he’s going to heel it up on the announce booth or not because he’s kind of acting in this weird limbo of half old Taz and half blubbering announcer. It’s not working very well for me.
Joseph cuts a promo about all of the things he’s won and accolades he’s collected throughout his life. They’re great but his place isn’t in front of a courtroom or a judge. It’s as a wrestler in the Impact Zone! (CDN IMO: I’d like to point out that this is a horrible, horrible idea. You’re probably making decent $$$ as a lawyer. You shouldn’t risk all of that for a possible shot on the IMPACT ROSTER of all things…)
Last Week didn’t go as planned but he fought hard. He didn’t get the “W” as the “boys” call it but it made him realize that he is here to be the best he can be.
We get a shot of the crowd (mostly the red-headed girl and her “friends” that are on Impact every week.)
Joseph continues and says next week is Manchester and it’s Open Fight Night. He’s committed and he’s got his passport all ready so he’ll be there. He doesn’t mention who he’ll challenge next week. He said he isn’t “kayfab’ing” but he’s taking a week to watch some tapes and take notes and render a verdict for next week. The UK, the US and the whole world will get to witness the TV debut and next week he’ll hold his court and get his “W”
Taz says he’s out of his mind. Tenay says the crowd is behind him.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: As silly as the premise of this whole angle is, Joseph Park really cuts a convincing promo. The crowd wants to like the character and it shows. They basically suck up everything he says. Park is one of those few feel good moments that we’ve been missing in TNA for a bit. It’s a silly story, but I can’t help but follow along and enjoy the ride.
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Zema Ion and Kenny King vs Christian York and Rob Van Dam
*Another Hardy v Daniels plug before the match starts*
Tag action next as Zema Ion and Kenny King take on RVD and Christian York. Todd and Tenay play up the ego clash of Ion and King whilst Taz calls them jealous of their talent. Mike ships focus over to RVD and York by saying that RVD called York the future of the X-Division and that they share mutual respect for each other.
The bell rings as Ion and Van Dam are in first. They lock up and Zema goes for a side chin lock. RVD whips him off the ropes and attempts a back body drop. Zema Ion notices and kicks Van Dam right in the chest. Van Dam comes back with a kick of his own but Zema sees it coming and ducks the strike. Knee lift by Ion and he springs back against the ropes to charge at RVD. RVD sees what Ion is up to, presses him up in the air and dropkicks him.
RVD drags Ion to the good guy corner and tags in York. Van Dam waits for York to do something but York looks to hesitate a bit so Van Dam just tosses Ion into his boot. York with a big knife edge chop to Ion followed by a whip into the ropes. York charges towards Ion and lands a kitchen sink followed by a heel kick to the back of the head. York is jaw-jacking King at this point, calling him out. York whips Ion into the corner and tags in RVD; who takes advantage of the situation and lands a big monkey flip. RVD taunt by RVD followed by a dropkick right to the face.
RVD goes to toss Ion against the ropes, but Ion slips to the outside to gain his composure as king distracts Van Dam by taking him down. RVD retaliates but that’s enough time for Ion to hop back into the ring and nail a flying knee right to the middle back of Van Dam. Ion has enough and tags in King.
King nails a suplex and floats it over into a mount. Ground and pound by King followed by a quick cover. It’s only good for one as RVD kicks out quite quickly. King tags Ion back in, who puts the boots to RVD as King has him pinioned. Elbow by Ion as he denies RVD a tag and takes out York. York didn’t like that and headed into the ring to get even. The ref, noticing that York isn’t the legal man, reprimands him and sends him back to his corner. Meanwhile, Ion is still in control. He whips RVD hard into the corner as Ion goes up top. 450 splash denied as RVD rolls out of the way.
York riles the crowd up as RVD manages to get away from ion with a mule kick. Hot tags on both sides as York nails king with 2 clotheslines and a modified Russian legs sweep. Corner clothesline by York but King stops the momentum with a gut kick in the center of the ring. King runs off the ropes but York is right behind him. He nails a nice psych-out knee for a 2 count. Zema breaks up the count and RVD takes him out. Zema manages to nail RVD in the mouth as York takes King to the outside with a clothesline.
York tried for a springboard but wasted too much time so King cuts him down and pulls him out. He smacks his head on the mat and that’s enough to take him out for the time being. Back in the ring RVD nails a falling front slam for 2. Seeing that the end is near, RVD hops up to the top rope but doesn’t notice King behind him. King crotches him on the top rope and tries a super back suplex. RVD beats him off but is pushed to the outside by Ion. Zema Ion tries to head to the top but is caught by York; who nails a rope assisted gamen-giri. York looked to be trying a springboard again but king catches him off guard. Kenny King goes for a flying hotshot and Zema goes for his leaping springboard DDT but is countered by York. York losses sight of King, who uses the opportunity to hit a springboard blockbuster.
It’s good enough for the pin as Ion “steals” one from King. King seems upset that he didn’t get the win and announcers say that Ion has one upped and outshone King.
WINNER: ZEMA ION (W/KENNY KING) via SPRINGBOARD BLOCKBUSTER
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Fast paced match-up between the 4 X-Divisioners. It was a good match but it was very clunky at times. Especially during Christian York spots. York is getting a bit better, but I still think he’s much too bulky for his size. It looks like he has trouble doing certain things that he was able to do when he was a much leaner wrestler.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): I’d watch it if you’re a fan of any of these guys. It’s not a super important match to watch unless you’re interested to see where the King/Ion thing will go.
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Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray arrive at the Impact Zone
Taz has a call so he has to leave. How convenient…
Brooke and Bully arrive at the Impact Zone. The camera guys (who seem to be getting their cues from TMZ paparazzo now) are asking about the wedding. They don’t respond and Bully tells the camera man to get the camera out of his face.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: I like how the camera guys approach interviews. It feels a lot like real paparazzi which is a nice touch in my opinion. It’s too bad they can’t keep the same amount of realism in some of their other segments.
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Backstage with Samoa Joe, Garrett Bischoff, Wes Brisco and Kurt Angle
We’re backstage again… This time with Samoa Joe, Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff. It seems like we’re joined mid conversation because Joe is already telling Wes and Garrett that he doesn’t need their help. They just want information on Kurt Angle and asked about his injury. Joe tells them to ask him themselves as Kurt conveniently walks into the scene. Wes and Garrett ask about his injury and Kurt replies that he isn’t 100 percent but he can still fight. Joe makes a point to Kurt that they need to talk later in private.
*Another Hardy v Daniels plug*
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: It looks like they’re building up that Wes and Garrett are in A&E. They’ve been kind of teasing it for a while, but it seems like it’s getting more obvious of their inclusion with the group. I wonder if there’s going to be a double swerve with Anderson as well?
FINAL MARK (BUY/DUD/NO SELL): DUD. Short segment. Nothing to really write home about.
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Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan address the Impact Zone
We get another wedding promo as Bully and Brooke head to the ring. Before they head down the ramp, Bully walks towards the announce booth looking for Taz. Tenay and Keneley tell him he’s left already as they realize why Taz had to take a call earlier. They mention that Bully is probably shaken up having his best man turn on him like that.
Bully gets to the ring and grabs a microphone to address the Impact Zone. He starts off by saying that last week should have been the greatest day of his life. It ended up sucking and a lot of people got hurt.
He goes on to say that he expected it from Devon, but never expected it from Taz; who he called a “scumbag” and a coward.
He says that he doesn’t care about what he did to him. He cares about the people around him that got hurt. Namely Hulk, Brooke and Sting. He’s been trying to get Sting and Hogan’s trust forever but the worst is what he did to Brooke. He threatens to do such bad things that he “can’t talk about it on TV”. He threatens Taz and A&E to sleep with one eye open because he won’t sleep until he kicks their asses. He can’t do it without Hogan lifting his suspension though. He knows Hogan is resting and taking care of the business side of TNA but he needs him to lift the suspension.
All of a sudden, Sting’s music hits and The Stinger heads down to chat with Bully. They hug it out and it looks like it’s Sting’s turn to address the crowd.
Sting says that he knows Hogan doesn’t do anything half way. He goes all the way to the top no matter what he does but he says that right now, Hogan is only half way. Hogan walked his daughter down the aisle but he still didn’t go all the way (The wording was unintentional, you sick fucks). He still didn’t reinstate bully. Next week in the UK, Sting believes Hogan will do the right thing and reinstate Bully.
Stings music hits again as they hug it out and talk a bit off mic.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: The crowd was loud; they dug that promo from Bully. Not his best work but definitely far from his worst. I’m guessing we’re going to have some drama with Hogan and Bully next week.
Hopefully it doesn’t lead to a match between the two cause nobody wants to see that.
Something to note: The announcers are playing up how Hulk Hogan does the right thing but is the right thing reinstating Bully Ray? This is probably an indicator of the direction this angle might be headed to.
FINAL MARK (BUY/DUD/NO SELL): Buy it. Not Bully’s best promo work but it got the point across. I got his point and know what he wants to do.
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Backstage with Austin Aries and Bobby Roode
*We get a Roode/Aries vs Chavo and Hernandez promo*
Backstage again (notice the trend?) and we’re catching up with Roode and Aries. They’re bickering over who will start the match. Both of them don’t want to fight Hernandez so they try to make the point that the other is more suitable for the role. Roode calls Aries quick and vicious which is a perfect counter to the pure brawn of Hernandez. Aries makes the counter point that Roode would be a better fit due to his size and technical prowess. He calls him the “power guy” of the team.
Roode brings up that Aries beat him for the title and Aries agrees. He reminds Roode that it was a fluke though and that was enough into tricking Roode into agreeing. Roode, realizing he’s been tricked yells, “power guys don’t start” or something to the effect as the segment drew to a close.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Pretty funny segment, I’d check it out if you’re into the shenanigans. It’s pretty obvious that they’re trying to use the Kane/D-Bry thing but I have no problem with that.
FINAL MARK (BUY/DUD/NO SELL): I’ll buy it. It was funny and worth seeing if you’re looking for a laugh.
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Jeff Hardy gets ready for Christopher Daniels
*Hardy promo: Recapping his road to redemption and his many defenses of the TNA World Heavyweight Title. Kind of cool I guess. Nothing really special though*
The camera men catch up with Hardy; who’s ready to cut a promo or his opponent for tonight, Christopher Daniels. He says that the creatures already fly so Daniels should make the best of his opportunity. Hardy knows exactly who the Fallen Angel is and who he isn’t.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Typical Jeff Hardy promo. It’s not the best, it might not even make sense, but it works for him.
FINAL MARK (BUY/DUD/NO SELL): DUD. Nothing really of substance, so I can’t really chose anything else.
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Bobby Roode vs Hernandez (w/ Chavo Guerrero Jr.)
Taz is back in the booth. He tries to cut in and interrupt Tenay and Keneley for a bit until Tenay finally acknowledges Taz’ presence. Taz asked if Bully came out, feigning that he didn’t know what happened in the prior segments. They told him that Bully had comments about him much to Taz’ chagrin.
*Roode vs Hernandez up next*
Roode is out first, followed by Hernandez. They lock up and Hernandez tosses Roode into the corner with his strength. Hernandez taunts Roode and does the “come here” motion as Roode shows a bit of concern about his situation. They go to lock up again but Roode ducks, gets him in a waist-lock and strikes him from behind nailing him with a few elbows.
Roode gets Hernandez in the corner and stomps him. Roode goes to whip him into the opposite corner but is countered by Hernandez. Hernandez follows up with a massive back body drop. Hernandez picks him up and hoists him for a VERY delayed vertical suplex. It must’ve been around 10 seconds if not more. Great display of power by Hernandez. Roode quickly gets to the ropes and as Hernandez went to grab him, Roode rakes Hernandez in the eyes and hits a top rope hotshot.
Roode gets back in the ring quickly and nails a swinging neck-breaker. Lateral press by Roode but Hernandez isn’t ready to go down yet. He lunges Roode off him and Roode lands right on top of Earl Hebner. Funny stuff. Roode doesn’t let Hernandez up and starts applying the boots to his back. Finally, Roode gets Hernandez on his feet and gets him in the corner. Shoulder blocks by Roode followed by a snapmare/neck-snap combo. Bit of showboating by Roode. Back rake by Roode. Hernandez starts a comeback with 2 big right hands and a gut kick. Hernandez goes off the ropes but is denied by Roode, who goes for another pin. Hernandez kicks out at 2 and Roode continues his assault with 2 elbows and a knee drop.
Another pin denied by Hernandez and Roode goes for a chin lock. Hernandez slowly gets to his feet and puts Bobby in the corner. Hernandez charges at Roode but Roode puts him over the top rope with a back body drop. Hernandez lands on his feet and waits for Roode to notice his presence. Roode turns around and eats a shoulder block followed by a springboard shoulder block. Polish hammers by Hernandez, whip into the corner and a Stinger splash. A groggy Roode walks right into a spinning Canadian back-breaker drop. Hernandez whips Roode off the ropes and goes for a back body drop. Roode notices and sends a kick his way, followed by a few knife edge chops.
Roode runs the ropes but Hernandez catches him with another shoulder block that sends Roode flying. Roode rolls out of the ring as Hernandez riles the crowd up. Hernandez goes to springboard but stops as Austin Aries runs down and pulls Bobby Roode out of the way. A little bickering by Aries and Roode, who insists that he didn`t need help.
Chavo Jr. decides he`s had enough and goes after Aries. Hebner goes to control the fighting outside the ring (They aren’t even competing. Why would that be more important than your job?) which distracts Hernandez enough for Roode to get behind him and nail a bulldog. Roode goes for the pin, which Hebner notices. Roode gets the 3 count (on a BULLDOG of all moves) and it’s good enough for the win.
WINNER: BOBBY ROODE via BULLDOG
Tenay says it was a “SWERVE” and Taz goes on to say that successful “SWERVES” are always the best one. (CDN IMO: Subtle, TNA. Of course you swerved us, Taz… Your inclusion in this angle makes NO sense. You’d swerve me too if Peewee Herman was the leader of The Shield! But, I digress…)
After the match, Aries and Roode start bickering again. “I SAVED YOU” says Aries. “I DIDN’T NEED YOUR HELP” says Roode. “WE DID IT” says Aries. “I DID IT” says Roode as they walk to the back.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: An enjoyable match. Roode played the under-gunned “brain over brawn” character very well in this match and Hernandez had a few cool spots to show off his strength. Probably one of the better Hernandez matches that I can remember recently. Also, on Aries and Roode… As much as this formula is very much a Kane/D-Bry kind of thing, I really don’t mind it. These two have good chemistry together and I like seeing them on TV. They’re good for a laugh if you can get past the obvious homage.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): Watchable, but not really a can’t miss kind of match. You might want to check out the delayed suplex if you’re into that.
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Kurt Angle calls out Ken Anderson
*Angle and A&E promo: Basically recapping Kurt’s side of this feud and what’s been going on. They’re really trying to make A&E look dangerous by having their “vicious” attack on the roster a focal point of these things. (CDN IMO: Personally, I’m not really buying into it. I’d like for these guys to actually get some clean wins instead of just run-ins and no finishes all the time.)*
Kurt Angle’s music hits and it looks like he’s out to talk. He slaps hands as he heads down to the ring and grabs a mic.
(CDN IMO: The announcers are talking about how Kurt knows what he has to do. It would be nice if we actually knew the events that lead up to him “knowing” what to do. It seems like he just “knows” all of a sudden like a drunk-twittering Neo or something…)
Kurt starts his promo, addressing A&E. He didn’t think that they would last but he was obviously wrong. He’s sick and tired of the cheap shots and sneak attacks and the injuries that the A&E gave the Impact wrestlers including him. He addresses Taz and says he talks about revenge. According to Angle, Taz doesn’t know what revenge is. Next week is Open Fight Night and Angle will get revenge and it will be on Ken Anderson. He calls out Anderson because he has something to tell him personally…
After a delay, Anderson’s music hits and he heads to ring via the Aces entrance (CDN IMO: again TNA, lock the damn doors!)
Anderson goes on a little “You wanna fight me next week?” tirade before he says that he doesn’t want to fight Angle next week… Cause he wants to do it now! Anderson sucker punches Angle in the face. Anderson gets him to the ground and continues to punch at Angle. Anderson gets him in the corner and starts stomping a mud-hole but cuts it short to taunt the crowd. This gave Angle enough time to recover, as he nails Anderson with a hard clothesline. Angle goes for the Ankle Lock but Anderson slips out of the ring to save himself from possible injury.
Angle grabs the mic and tells Anderson to keep running. He won’t have anybody cheap shooting him cause it’ll be Angle vs Anderson in a steel cage next week. (CDN IMO: somebody needs to remind him that Aces already got into one of his cage matches LOL)
Taz seems nervous about this and the TNA announcers are ecstatic. Tenay asks who’s more dangerous than Angle in a cage?
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Fine promo work by both men. Angle was pretty fired up so it helped when he started cutting a promo. Nice touch having Anderson feign being a coward, only to sock Angle in the face.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): Watchable but a bit more than that. Probably the first promo in the show that actually felt serious enough for the situation.
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ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE
*Daniels vs Hardy is next*
We get a shot of a pocket knife and it seems like we’re backstage with the Aces (CDN IMO: again, WHY does TNA [let alone Universal Studios] give these guys backstage areas to just chillax in? Didn’t they initially force their way into the building? This is crazy… ).
Anderson, a little shaken up having to face Angle in the cage next week yells, “HOOKERS! Shut up!” word for word (CDN IMO: I laughed). Devon tries to reason with Anderson using the classic, “c’mon man” approach but Anderson is annoyed and calls the hookers a bunch of cackling hens.
Devon tells the ladies to relax and tries to level with Anderson again. He knows he’s high strung and knows he has angle but all he’s asking that he just relax cause the Aces have a battle plan. Have a sip of beer and do what he’s going to do (sloppy seconds?) with the products of the club house. Again TNA, subtle…
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Horrible promo, but I come to expect that from this A&E bits. I’ve given up on thinking that something interesting might happen with the group.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): DUD. Not even worth looking at.
P.S. Fuck you Devon.
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JEFF HARDY (C) VS “FALLEN ANGEL” CHRISTOPHER DANIELS FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Daniels is out first with Kaz in tow. Confidence levels are an all time high for Daniels according to Tenay. He’s won 2 matches in a row!
Up next is Hardy, to a decent cheer. He slaps hands with the crowd as he heads down the ring.
(CDN IMO: Taz isn’t so much a heel announcer as he is that douche in high school that thought he was funny by calling chicks cunt rockets if they reject his advances.)
Jeremy Borash handled the formal introduction for the match and Brian Hebner is officiating.
As the bell rings, Hardy riles the crowd up with a bit of clapping as he circles Daniels. They lock up and Daniels forces Hardy into the corner. Clean break by Daniels. They lock up again and hardy gains the upper hand with a side headlock. Daniels breaks Hardy off by slamming him into the turnbuckle and following it up with a few shoulder thrusts. Whip to the opposite corner as Daniels charges after Hardy. Hardy springs up from the turnbuckle, catches Daniels with his legs and nails a pretty head-scissors take-down Hardy charges with a clothesline, picks Daniels up and forces him in the corner. Big corner clothesline as Hardy tries to get the crowd behind him. Hardy goes for his pendulum dropkick in the corner but Daniels rolls to the outside, causing Hardy to tumble back first into the mat. Daniels uses the time to recover and make his way back to the ring. Daniels tosses Hardy to the outside as Kaz and Daniels take a break to showboat to the crowd as we go to commercial.
We get back from commercial and Daniels is still in control of the match. Clothesline and a cover by Daniels, who only gets a 2 count. We get a replay of the action during the commercial break which consisted of Kaz stomping a hole into El Jeffe. Back to the ring and Daniels is driving his elbow into the face of Jeff Hardy. Daniels picks hardy up and connects with a back suplex. Daniels runs the ropes and hits hardy with a HUUUUUUUGE western lariat which is only good for 2. Daniels gets on top of Hardy and beats him down. Stomps and punches as Daniels seems to be getting frustrated. Daniels picks hardy up and head-butts him followed by a taunt. Daniels picks hardy up again and goes for a swinging neck-breaker, only to change it halfway into a a sort of headlock/elbow drop variation. Daniels covers again but it isn’t enough to keep hardy down. Daniels keeps hardy grounded with a half nelson chin lock as the crowd starts to rally behind hardy. Daniels drives his knee into hardy’s back as he locks the hold in. Hardy gets to his feet and attempts to break free of Daniels by running to the ropes. Daniels catches him by the hair and slams him down. Brian Heber reprimands Daniels for the illegal move and they argue a bit.
Daniels goes back to stomp hardy, who is still by the ropes in bad shape. Daniels picks him up and tries to whip him off the ropes but Hardy gets the better of him a reverses it into a clothesline. Both men are down but Daniels gets to his feet first. Daniels and Hardy go punch for punch until has enough and whips him into the ropes of a jumping clothesline. Hardy, now fired up, hits a reverse atomic drop followed by an Extreme leg drop and a front dropkick. Mule kick reversal by Hardy who goes for the pin. Hardy gets a 2 count and goes back into the offensive. Daniels whips hardy into the corner, but hardy reverses the charge with a boot to the face. Second Rope diving splash by Hardy and a cover. It’s only good for two again as both men sell the effects of the match. Hardy tries to whip Daniels into the corner but Daniels reverses him and charges again. In a spot similar to early in the match, Hardy tried to reverse it with a head-scissors takedown but ends up caught in a fireman’s carry and dropped into a brutal looking Death Valley Driver. Daniels tries to pin the champion again, but Hardy just kicks out at 2. Daniels decides to go for a submission and locks in the Koji Clutch. Hardy manages to get to the ropes and Daniels breaks the hold at a 3 count. Daniels gets hardy up into the corner and strikes him as Hardy can barely stand. Daniels hoists Hardy up to the top rope and goes for a hurricanrana but hardy reverses it into a top rope gut-buster. Hardy gets the cover but Daniels gets his foot on the rope at the last minute. The crowd is pretty invested in the match at this point. Hardy goes for the twist of Fate but Daniels denies it with a back kick and Angel’s Wings. Daniels goes for the pin but Hardy manages to kick out at 2 1/2. Daniels is shocked that Hardy kicked out of his finisher and sets Hardy up for the Best Moonsault Ever. Hardy rolls out the way as Daniels lands on his feet.
Daniels charges Hardy in the corner but Hardy was expecting that and goes for a whisper in the wind. Daniels dodges it at the last minute and pins Hardy again for a 2 count. Frustration is building up in Daniels who yells “damn it!” in the heat of the moment. Daniels has had enough and goes for Angel’s Wings again. As he gets Hardy up, Hardy takes advantage of his location and nails Daniels with a hurricanrana. Hardy with a gut kick and a quick twist of stunner followed by a twist of fate. Hardy nails Kaz with a baseball slide and hits the Swanton on Daniels which is good enough for the win.
WINNER: JEFF HARDY via SWANTON BOMB
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: Really exciting match-up for TV but much too short. I was wishing for more from these guys. Hopefully this leads to Daniels challenging more often for the WHC. He’s always been a pretty prominent figure on TNA TV so I would like for them to use him a bit more in the future.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): Watch it. It would’ve been a can’t miss deal if the match was longer.
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Taz congratulates Jeff Hardy
Taz decides he has to go and spread the good word and heads to the ring to interview Hardy.Taz has a question for hardy. What are you going to do when A&E destroys everything and you’re left laying? What are you going to do when A&E takes your title? This was strictly to distract Jeff hardy as one of the masked A&E members nailed Hardy from behind with the rubber hammer (CDN IMO: See TNA? Lock the damn doors!).
As Hardy wails in pain, Taz says he was about to tell you to watch your back as the member of A&E who did the deed ran away through the crowd. Taz, deciding his handy-work was done, leaves to the back as TNA Impact closes for this week.
CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE: This is obviously an out for Jeff Hardy as he can’t travel to the UK due to legal reasons. Bummer for the UK fans but shit happens.
Overall, the show wasn’t very good. There’s a few decent matches but nothing super redeeming.
FINAL MARK (CAN’T MISS IT/WATCHABLE/BOTCHED IT): This show gets a barely watchable from me. Not a great show and not very entertaining. Some segments ran too long and some of the matches (namely the main event bout) ran much too short for me.
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Well that’s it for me this week. Next week, the article won’t be as late so expect reviews first thing Friday morning! That’s all folks! Masked Canadian signing out, eh?
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